Shiny, bright and new

Here in my town we were seriously lacking in a 'normal' supermarket. There are currently three within close proximity to my house. Trader Joe's is great, but sometimes I need a bit more than "Blimey! These Are Limey." British frozen fruit bars. There are two other supermarkets to choose from. One is enormously scary to me. It is a smaller chain that has been in existence for years. I am sure they have money for a face lift, but the regular shoppers would flip out if they changed anything around. It has standard offerings peppered with strange bizarro foods that I just cannot comprehend. The blue-hairs come in droves to buy 10 cans of salmon pesto for 10 dollars. Or they are there with their scrawny chicken arms attempting to lift huge containers of Dreft detergent into their carts because they are on sale for $1.99 each. I go there once in awhile for milk and for the mystery smell. It changes daily and identifying it has turned into a sport for me.

We have two Whole Foods close by but I tend to just shop there for meats, fish and produce. My two kids take a lunch to camp and/or school everyday and they need snacks. They are older and jaded. Health food snacks receive the big thumbs down. I have tried and failed a million times over. I'd rather not chance the $6.99 box of Very Vegan Veggie Vittles that will sit lonely on my shelf with the unsweetened baking chocolate. My kids are not going to eat them no matter how much I scream and yell. You pick and choose your battles with kids. I let them win the crappy snack battle. That way I can win the don't smoke weed in my garage battle in a few years. I ate gross shit growing up, and I have not killed anyone yet. They aren't oinking out on tubs of cream filled cheesecake puffs, but they can have an Oreo now and then. I control the dinners with a heavier hand which can be a good and a bad thing. Now they have little snotty taste buds when it comes to main courses. "But Mom, this Bolognese doesn't have as much flavor. You should stick with the porcini to highlight the taste of the veal."

The other supermarket of a more tolerable nature just opened it's doors after a month of renovations. I can't begin to describe how excited I was to go check this out. I love new supermarkets. Everything about them makes the hairs on my arms stand on end. They shut it down a few weeks ago. I drove by the morning after the forced closing. There were trucks and wooden palettes littering the parking lot. I saw some of the cashiers outside taking a cigarette break. They were not in their regulation green short sleeved polo shirts. Completely out of their normal element. I wanted to pull into the parking lot and talk about what was going on behind the papered windows. Get the skinny on the reveal before everyone else.

When the new Whole Foods near us opened I went two days after to scope out the new property. They had a burrito bar! I ran to the car with my ridiculously overpriced coffee beans slapping against my leg to call my husband and tell him. He feigned interest. "And they will make them with brown rice!" I yelled as he excused himself off the the phone citing an incoming call.

I worked out this morning and took a shower. I put on a proper outfit rather than my normal cropped Lycra yoga pants and a tank top. I shaved my legs and applied mascara with care. I wore a chunky artsy ring that is reserved for dinner dates. I was going to the *new* store. I walked in and it was so bright I winced. The new larger aisles burned with the illumination of a thousand suns. There were greeters, upper echelon management types. I was handed a map and thanked for my patience while they underwent renovations. No, no...thank you.