Friday, July 11, 2008
Sleeveless T-shits on men.
I say nay. Time to rid the world of this fashion travesty. Exactly what benefit is it providing you? I understand. It's hot out and you want to be comfortable, right? Show me one man that has perished from the horror of heat exhaustion due to an extra three inches of material covering his shoulders. If you are a hot, ripped, tall basketball player then you get to wear a sleeveless shirt. Not you. And not you. And you over there leafing through the GQ so you can chub out to Giselle while your wife buys another flowy tunic top in 'clay' at J. Jill. Take it off right here in the store. Take a walk over to Nordstrom and get yourself an Ed Hardy T. Nobody wears those. (snort) You'll be ever so cool and you can assimilate yourself back into the public masses before anyone misses your tangeled dank fur-pits. If you have excessive amounts of hair on the fleshy underbelly of your upper arm? Not for you. If the same hair we just spoke of grows on that small chunk of back fat that tends to pop through the back arm hole of a sleeveless shirt? No. Put the shirt down. Does it have a fun east coast vacation destination emblazoned across the chest? Burn it. Are there airbrushed images of Wolves on it? Burn that one too. In fact, if you have any sleeved ones with wild animals airbrushed onto them they should be destroyed. Immediately. Does it say Lifeguard anywhere on it? Come over here for your giant dope slap, and then go throw it away. White wife-beaters? There is a certain trashy hotness that can look very good in this shirt. I am guessing maybe 3 % of the male population. Probably less. Err on the side of caution. Grow some sleeves and walk away.