I was just digging around on-line to see what time the Sox were playing tonight. I stumbled upon this gem:
Police arrest Mich. man for car wash vacuum sex
October 18, 2008
THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. --Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.
The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.
Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.
The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.
Immediately the filth comes to mind. The absolute nastiness of sticky residue, weird cling ons, and sandy crust one would find on the edge of a car vacuum hose. I assume he used one of those tanks that you pull up to and feed quarters to for sucking out the crap from your car. Those big gray snaky tubes that travel under the seats to zip up whatever time has cast aside.
There is no way he has children. Anyone with a child that travels in a car knows of the scariness that lies in the drop zone. 1/2 chewed bagel chunks, wet Cheeze-Its, muddy mulchy sandy compound that is found at most playgrounds.
When you pull into one of those car washes anything is game. If it fits in the tube it gets sucked. I am having trouble understanding why he applied that same theory to his penis. A man's groin area should be free from ketchup packets and small bits of dog shit or gum. At what exact point in his brain did it become okay to place the same thing that cleans out your car in his pants. When did he say to himself, " Look at how nicely that sucked up all that dog hair. I think I will put my penis in it." It happened at 6:45 am. Did he stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way? Did he have a coffee roll and an iced coffee prior to his date? Did he ask for 4 quarters in change as they bagged up his breakfast treat?