Friend Or Enemy?

Would a true friend send this in the mail five days before a major holiday that consists of eating yourself into a carbo coma three days in a row and rubbing gravy on your genitals after polishing off six bottles of great California Cabernet?

Large bag of Dove Silky Smooth Dark Chocolate Promises – what do they really promise? A fat ass…
Snyder’s Hot Buffalo Wing Pieces – Pieces of what, I ask? I am frightened and turned on.
Cheetos Crunchy – Otto’s holiday snack, now.
Chex Mix Bars in Turtle Flavor – Never ate turtle before.
Nature Valley Sweet and Salty Peanut Bars – Always a winner on the go.
A Box of Milk Chocolate Covered Mint Oreo Cookies – What the f@*K? Are you crazy, woman?

Would she send it with a note to your healing husband and his new ant eating nose that read the following?

A big box of crap for you to eat and reminisce about your days of popping Vicodin and wearing a maxi-pad on your face. Good times, man. We (heart) you. Glad you are feeling better and kicking ass.
Jamie, Chrissy, Carter and Max

Let’s just say frenemy and call it a day.

Love you, blog dog!