Monday, November 10, 2008

Now..where were we?

Oh yes! Normal day to day life. Good to be back here. Max is breathing with ease. Still coughing up nasty hunks of mess, but coughing up stuff is good on Asthma Island. My friend's Mom is home recovering from brain surgery and requesting her favorite comfort foods. I have assimilated myself back into the working world nicely and seemed to have achieved a decent work/life balance. My bathroom floor is a bit scuzzier looking and laundry seems to have taken a big step back in priority but at least I am squirreling away some good spending money. I am looking at you cashmere wrap. Someday, my pet.

Meal planning is going swimmingly. I am the stooped over frumptastic housefrau at the supermarket peering at coupons and trying to decide if we really need 4 containers of Cascade to save $1.00. I will tell you that I garnered a deal on kid's Yoplait that would have made any bargain hunter proud. It makes them poop green, but when festooned with Madagascar II characters are you surprised? If anyone is interested in seeing it- Jamie reports it was fairly lame. Except for the penguins, of course. He also said he wished there was more of Alec Baldwin's lion in it.

I am also sorting through mail and trying to get paperwork in order. I'd rather put my tongue in a flat iron than do paperwork. I cannot stand it. I have a pile with three forms to be filled out, and umpteen items that need to be put into our household calendar. Yeah, I have a household calendar. Bite me. Bask in your jealousy of my anal organization. Mock if you will, but think of me the next time you swing into the dentist's parking lot 20 minutes late sweating and swearing.

Catalogs have been insane lately. I have received no less than 8 toy catalogs in the past week. I give the kids a pen and a pat on the head and tell them to circle ideas for Christmas. I tell them they can choose what they want, but then need to narrow it down to the three special choices. I encourage them to choose many, and then to begin the elimination process. It buys me a good hour of quiet time. Kid's take this shit very seriously. I then remind them that Santa sees every move they make. He is a stalker minus the late 80's sedan and the penchant for classic rock stations.

My son asks me how Santa knows what he is doing at all times. I just shake my head and make my eyes as wide as possible. I hunch my shoulders a bit and whisper in his ear. "I have no idea, but honestly... (look around to see if anyone is listening)...it even freaks me out a little bit, and I'm a Mom." Again make your eyes wide and give them a knowing nod, as if to say: Yeah man, I am totally serious- I feel I can level with you here. Step back from the child but leave your hand comfortingly on their shoulder to not freak them out too much, but just enough. Trust me, it works. Behavior around here has been spectacular.

Today we received three meat catalogs. Burgers' Smokehouse, Harrington's of Vermont, and Kansas City Steaks. I am not planning on any meat gifts this holiday but if I was I would surely order from Burgers'. The name is great, and all of their products are labeled using log letters. Inside the first page they have a cartoon pig sitting in front of the computer looking hungry and ordering away. "Herb Roasted Turkey, Cheese sampler, and a pound of Bac....Hey!" They also list as one of their November specials: Omelette Meat. The description is simply 'diced up portions of our moist tender and sweet ham packaged in 8oz portions.' How about just calling it diced ham? It got my attention, but not in that positive way that makes me want to add it to my eggs. I like specifics in any meat label, it comforts me.

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