1 loaf of white bread (cut off crust)
1 can of cream of something soup. Whatever flavor you think goes best with fatty pork strips laden with nitrates and Wonder bread.
1 lb of Bacon (Cut in 1/2)
Grated parmesean cheese
1. Open soup can.
2. Look at cold soup in it's congealed form.
4 Open bread and remember that your mother refused to purchase Wonder bread and understand why. Vow to use Scali next time around. Curse husband for bad bread choice when he was doing errands.
5. Spread 1 tablespoon of soup on slice of bread.
6. Neurotically wash any soup remnants off of your hands.
7. Sprinkle grated cheese over soup.
8. Gag again.
9. Throw away remaining soup. You don't want to eat that shit on it's own. Save can for bacon grease.
10. Roll up bread width way.
11. Slice roll- about two rolls per slice.
12. Open toothpicks.
13. Think of Dustin Hoffman.
14. Wrap each piece with bacon and secure with toothpick.
15. Put on a cookie rack ontop of a cookie sheet. You don't want them stewing in grease. Or do you?
16. Bake at 375 until crisp. Check often. Bacon goes from perfectly crispy to black in a nano-second.
These freeze really well. Mock the ingredients, but know that people shovel them into their mouths at a rapid pace. Cheap and easy for the holidays. Hooray for pork products!