Disney I

Guess how much the Internet service is at Disney? $9.95 a day. Before leaving on our vacation I told Dorothea with great bravado how I would blog from the confines of the campus of the Mouse to mock every acid wash jeans wearing mess that I saw. Guess how much a mixed drink costs at Disney? For a mere $14.00 I could dull my pain with some Peter Pan Has No Penis Punch or a large commemorative blinking mug of Bambi's Mom's A Bloody Mary. You do the math. The drinks won.

My awesome rock star of a husband booked us at club level. Basically this means that the hotel staff has to be a bit nicer to you and do whatever menial tasks you ask of them without them giving you a big "f you" smile. Mediocre food was offered in the lounge of our building at various intervals of the day. Yummy Beginnings, Snack, Lunch, Tea, Twilight, and Good Night Goodies. I think that is what they were called, at least something along those lines with a few Disneyesque terms thrown in. Along with the food you got a bar of semi-drinkable wine, shitty champagne and cordials in the evening. The most exotic beer offered was Heineken. Barf. The cordials threw me for a loop, most of the offerings were alcohol that I had only heard of from a Jay Z lyric and tasted like cough syrup. So despite the "free" drinks I found a few occasions that I needed to venture outside the lounge to be a bit more adventurous and escape their offerings. So I chose booze over Internet. Wouldn't you? Jamie had his Blackberry and he was blissfully happy communicating away with clients on that. I was in an Internetless world. But I took notes. Oh yes, there are many. Stay tuned...