Sometimes life just throws a bunch of shit straight at a wall and all of the stinky nuggets stick as if they had suction cups attached to every molecule of waste. This week has really been a doozey when it comes to bad news, bad behavior and overall bad vibes. I have seen, heard and experienced relationships coming to a screeching halt, trouble in more than one paradise, terrible, unfair sickness, a mistaken near death diagnosis and death itself. And honestly, Mercury being in retrograde, a term that is as familiar to me as a clitoral castration ceremony or ordering my lunch special in fluent Mandarin is no excuse. All I know is that I am a Sagittarius, a fire sign with a birthday that falls too close to Christmas for it to be fun. So, when planetary mumbo jumbo is thrown around like a football at an alcohol soaked Kennedy B.B.Q. I go blank inside, much like a super model that has been asked to speak in full sentences.
I would like to know why all these terrible things are happening to people I know or relatives or friends of friends or neighbor’s relatives and friends but there is no explanation and no rational theory. Life is shitty and hard and unfair sometimes and other times, it is a shower of delight, glee and hot water mixed with fancy hotel soap. People are always going to be human. Thus, they will continue to be fallible and flawed and truthfully, fuckers sometimes. I get that. It’s in the Life Survival Handbook, a tome of toilet reading one can find at Barnes and Noble next to Suzanne Somer’s latest book, “Slim and Sexy During Old Age Paralysis” and Chelsea Handler's new manuscript “My Vagina Is Talking But I Can't Hear Her”, a collection of humorous stories about gynecologists she's dated and the things they cured.
I hope that when this retrograding fuck fest finally ends, some peace and tranquility will fall on those who need it the most right now. As for the people whose petty grievances pale in comparison to the deep seeded sorrow that seems to be the flavor of the month, yours truly included, step back, take stock and start celebrating the fact that the good days really do out number the bad ones. Especially when Danny Gokey gets voted off American Idol. That is a great day for everyone.
It is health that is the real wealth
and not pieces of gold and silver
– Mahatma Gandhi